Thursday, August 21, 2008

Great Britain > Australia

The Aussies are clearly jealous of our current Olympic success, because their latest insult is 'You can only win when you're sitting down', referring, I assume, to our success in cycling and rowing. Indeed, as of 11.20 GMT 21/08/08, 19 of our 40 medals (47.5%) have come in these disciplines, plus canoeing and equestrian, which are clearly included in sitting down.
My initial comeback was "well you can only win when you're lying down". How mature of me. Indeed, looking at Australia's own tally, 21 of their 38 medals (55.2%) have come in swimming, triathlon and water polo, which involve lying down. That amused me.
Mock the Week tonight had a better comeback: "At least we're good in sports where humans are the best. Look at you - you're only good at swimming, and every fish on the planet is better at it than you!"
This could be extended - even Usain Bolt and the Jamaican sprint team would lose to a cheetah. Incidentally, did you know that Jamaica sent 51 sportspeople to the Olympics, 39 of whom are sprinters? Fact.
Anyway, put any animal in a boat or on a bike and they'd be stumped. So whatever the Aussies say, at least our heroes really are the best on the planet, not just the best of our species.
While I'm on the topic, if you were to enter an animal into each Olympic discipline, what would you choose and why?

1 comment:

Joe 50 said...

Not sure I can manage all the olympic disciplines. But...

110m hurdles = a horse. They are used to jumping over hurdle type things and are flipping quick.

Greco-Roman Wrestline = a lion. Reasons fairly obvious.

Cycling = a circus trained monkey. Would still beat every other nation in the world.

Softball/baseball = a bear. You would not risk catching it, striking it out or running it out in case you provoked its wrath.

4x100m relay = a donkey. It has more chance of passing the baton than many human competitors.

the marathon = a tortoise. Because it is not a hare.

200m = a hare, because it is not a tortoise.

swimming freestyle = a frog, just so the Australians are beaten by a land-based animal as well as all the ocean animals

handball = an elephant. The reach of the trunk would be a significant advantage.

high jump = small lambs. Specialists in vertical take off.