Soundtrack of 2010

Following my soundtracks of 2008 and 2009, here is 2010.  It's a shorter list than normal, I'm not sure why.  Links go to Youtube videos.  Alternatively, search Spotify.

Anberlin - Dismantle.Repair
Classic Anberlin - quality rock music and lyrics with depth.  The drums alone are excellent, but the vocals and guitars complement them and each other perfectly.  The relentless repetition of the chorus from 3.15 onwards is brutal and inspiring.  D.R links wonderfully with 'Fin', the following track on the album.

Athlete - In between 2 states
This track has no lyrics so it is unexpected that it draws my attention so strongly.  For some reason, this song just got inside my head this year.  It's the best instrumental opening track to an album that I know of.  I only wish it lasted longer!

Athlete - Rubik's Cube
What excellent imagery (listen to it and you'll understand)!  Genuinely superb.  Very clever, and the song builds brilliantly.  A song you can lose yourself in.  A high point of the Black Swan album.

Evanescence - My Immortal
An old song, but wow.  The simple piano, the famously haunting vocals, the subtle build through the bridge, and *that* crash at 3.04 - the best musical explosion ever?  Certainly a contender I think.  This song not only made my soundtrack of the year, but also entered my 'contenders for greatest song of all time' list.

Hurts - Devotion
This song makes the list because I think it is the only song I've ever heard that treats lust as a problem to be dealt with.  A refreshing change from most popular music.  It also has an interesting (and I think very wise) idea of how to battle it.  Big respect to Hurts for this one.

Jesus Culture - Your love never fails
Jesus Culture both inspire and annoy me, but this song definitely falls into the 'inspire' category.  Musically and lyrically it does everything that Jesus Culture do best.  As a congregational song it could work but would be tricky, but as a standard piece of Christian rock worship, it is exemplary.

Muse - Invincible
Yes, I know you know who Muse are and I know you know this song.  It's one of their most famous.  But I just love the unabashed positivity.  It brings a nice change from Muse's usual mood.  It has the upbeat optimism of cheesy pop, but without any of the cheesiness or poppiness.  A great example of Muse's quality.

Muse - Map of the problematique
Very different from Invincible, but no less excellent.  Musically, possibly my favourite ever Muse song.  It is not possible for me to not get excited about this song.  The beat, the drive, the riffs, all of it.  And at 2.18, an incredible moment of music.

Sixpence none the richer - Still Burning - sorry for the lame video, it was the only one I could find!
Lovely, just lovely.  I struggle to find other words.  Beautiful song.  I won't try to preach from it at the moment, but one day I might.

Sixpence none the richer - Tension is a passing note - video is a cover but an ok one
What an interesting idea...'tension is to be loved when it is like a passing not to a beautiful chord'.  This song never ceases to make me think.

StrangeDay - Wonderful - no video available
A wonderfully positive song.  Fun, catchy, upbeat, great melody, and a really good message.  Unfortunately you can't hear it, but trust me, it's a great song.

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

The latest Narnia film is the best, but the least faithful to the book.  It is the best, in fact, partly because it is the least faithful to the book.  Allow me to explain by means of a short review and some comments on adapting novels to films.

The latest Narnia film is good.  Its particular strengths are:

• Peter is gone.  This is the biggest strength, because William Moseley was shocking.
• The effects look good, on a par with Prince Caspian, which is an improvement on The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
• There is only one lame gag (when Eustace faints after seeing a minotaur).
• Eustace (Will Poulter) is excellent.  Fact.
• The adaptation is good (see below).

Its weaknesses are:

• The adaptation is not perfect (see below).
• William Moseley's face appears on screen at one point.
• They're still trying to force romance into the films.
• At the end of the day, the stories aren't outstanding - what makes the books so good is the theological depth.  This depth is seen to an extent in the films but is limited.

The adaptation:

The book is essentially a series of tenuously connected island episodes.  It has very little plot.  The overarching storyline is the search for the seven lost lords, and it's just not very good.  The film needed to adapt this plot.  Therefore they added into a driving force to the plot and changed the order of the islands.

The driving force that was introduced was the idea of an evil dark island (the island of nightmares from the book), which produced a green mist which acted as the embodiment of evil throughout the film.  The quest was to find the seven swords of the seven lords, which would enable to dark island and the mist to be destroyed.  The mist was introduced at the lone islands and explained at the dufflepud island.  Then came deathwater island and dragon island (merged into one island), Ramandu's island and dark island - the order is changed to make the plot work.

Other than that, the incidents at the islands are similar to in the book.  The exceptions are that the Lone Islands section is condensed, so the overthrow of Gumpas and appointment of Lord Bern is excluded, and that Ramandu does not feature, his daughter takes his place.  Both of these are mistakes.  The Lone Islands now seem rushed and the only reason for Ramandu's exclusion is that his daughter is prettier.

The adaptation gave the story drive, momentum and purpose and gave it more of a climax than the book.

If this film had stuck to the book like the first one did, it would be a very poor film.  What works in books doesn't always work in film, obviously.  Prince Caspian did the same thing - it is the weakest of the seven books, because very little happens, so the film-makers fleshed it out with an extra couple of battles.  To the purists out there, this is called adaptation.  It is necessary.  LOTR did exactly the same thing, e.g. the removal of Tom Bombadil.  Adaptation sometimes works well and sometimes doesn't.  With The Dawn Treader, it generally worked well.  Not perfectly, but well.

Mingling

A question, about which I have been cogitating for a while, but which came up in conversation this weekend:

What is the minimum number of people required for one to be able to 'mingle'?

This can be taken further:

1. What is the definition of mingling?
2. What is the minimum number required for mingling to be (a) possible, and (b) guaranteed.
3. How does (a) the physical position (e.g. walking, sitting, standing), (b) the location (e.g. indoors or outdoors, amount of space) and (c) the context (e.g. party, meal, chilled gathering) affect the answers to question 2?
4. Is there a formula to predict the likelihood of spontaneous mingling being (a) possible and (b) guaranteed in any given group situation.
5. Should I do a PhD in this?

Answers on a postcard.  Or just in a comment.

Athlete gig review

I went to see Athlete last night.  Only 6 out 11 of us made it.  Damn snow.
Anyway, it was very good.  Two supports, who got on slickly and didn't play for overly long.  Stoney were very good, probably the best support I've seen since The Kissaway Trail a few years ago (coincidentally at the same venue).  Alice Gold was ok, fairly average support.

Athlete opened with only Joel on stage, with an acoustic guitar.  He played You Got The style - it was very cool but the crowd were appalling.  It was a bit empty due to the snow, but even so...it felt like I was the only one singing and indeed, when Joel stepped back from the mic so the crowd could sing a line alone, they did not sing! However, it was a cool way to start the gig.  Then the rest of the band came on and went into Superhuman Touch and Hurricance, both of which sounded good and were fun.  Then Twenty-Four Hours took me by surprise.  It's not one of my favourite songs of theirs, but they played it brilliantly and really built up the second half.  I actually felt my jaw dropping.  One of the highlights, and the most unexpected.
Then came Beautiful and Black Swan Song - both great singalongs, both nailed by the band.  The crowd were a bit more into it by this point.  It had also become clear by now that one thing that was making this a decent gig was the lighting - it's hard to describe and I'm in a lazy mood, but it was some of the best gig lighting I've seen.  Tres bon.
Anyway, the second half of the gig then mellowed out a bit - Back Track was lots of fun, El Salvador was very well received, then Tokyo, Out of Nowhere, Westside and Tourist.  Then came the Outsiders.  This one was excellent, really cool, and they played the long outro which was good to see.  Finally Wires (obvious but good ending) - the crowd were much better by this stage and were singing along heartily.  The song ended with only Joel on stage again, playing a repeat of the middle eight.
The encore was excellent too - The Getaway, Half Light and Chances were three of the best all evening so we finished on a high.  Chances in particular was a great way to end.
The band performed well.  There wasn't quite enough adaptation of the songs for my liking, but Joel is a great frontman and there were all good to watch.  Plus the lighting was awesome.
Highlights: 24 Hours, Beautiful, and the last 5 (Outsiders to Chances).

Inner circle review

Warning: this post displays epic geekery.

I categorise bands/artists that I like into three 'circles'.  The inner circle are my very favourite bands.  I just love them.  The second circle are other bands I think are very good.  They generally fail to get into the inner circle for one or more of three reasons: they have not produced enough music yet; their music is too variable in quality; or I just don't quite like their music enough.  The third circle are other bands that I like and regularly listen too.

Today there is are to alterations to the inner circle.  Anberlin are moving back into the second circle, on the basis of a relatively weak 5th album and a slightly disappointing gig.  Athlete are moving into the inner circle.

This leaves this inner circle as: Athlete, British Sea Power, Delirious, Idlewild, Lifehouse and Mew.
The second circle is: Bloc Party, Coldplay, DCTalk, Easyworld, Editors, Enya, Feeder, Muse, Anberlin, Matt Redman, Oasis, Sigur Ros, Stellastarr* and U2.

Sledging fail

Yesterday I went sledging with some friends.  The slope we were using had two sections.  I was completely unable to get onto the lower section.  I'd either stop early or slide of the edge.  For some reason, this got inside my head and I got really frustrated.  I didn't care about doing the lower section, or I'd have just started halfway down.  I just wanted to try the whole thing.  My friends gave me advice but nothing I tried made any difference.  I tried different starting positions, different amounts of leaning, different positions on the sledge, different sledges, different leg positions.  No win.  What frustrated me was not that I couldn't get onto the lower section.  It was that I wasn't improving.  There was nothing I could do to get there.

It's a bit like losing a competitive sport match.  There are two ways of losing - losing because you played badly, or losing because the opposition were simply too good.  I think most people prefer to lose by just being outclassed, because they want to have played as well as they can.  I disagree.  I would prefer to lose because of playing badly, because then at least I can go away and improve, I know there is something I can do to change things next time.  I don't like losing at all, but especially if there is nothing I could have done to do better.  Just like the sledging - I hated being unable to change anything to improve.

Snow (2)

Last winter, I wrote about how snow has the potential to bring out the best in people.
This winter, I want to mention how it can also bring out the worst in people.  For example, throwing snowball at innocent strangers' cars, houses, or bodies.  Or leaving Tesco carpark littered with trolleys.  This saddens me.

Complete albums

You know how some albums somehow seem more complete than most?  Either because of the themes running through the songs, or the clever track ordering, or some mysterious x-factor which makes the album hang together beautifully.
I surveyed my music to find which albums seem particularly 'complete' in this way.  This is not the same as looking at which albums are the best.  'Completeness' is only one aspect of what makes a good album.  You may notice the absence of excellent albums such as Californication, Viva La Vida, Silent Alarm, The Decline of British Sea Power, World Service, An End Has A Start, Origin Of Symmetry and others - great albums, but lacking this particular factor.

'Complete' albums are:
Cities - Anberlin
Beyond The Neighbourhood - Athlete
A Weekend In The City - Bloc Party
Glo - Delirious
Pushing The Senses - Feeder
Can I See Heaven - Heat
The Remote Part - Idlewild
No Name Face - Lifehouse
Sam's Town - The Killers
The Friendship And The Fear - Matt Redman
Frengers - Mew
And The Glass Handed Kites - Mew
Takk - Sigur Ros
October - U2

Albums that came close, or were just spoiled by the odd song:
Black Swan - Athlete
Lifesong - Casting Crowns
A Rush Of Blood To The Head - Coldplay
Jesus Freak - DCTalk
This I sWhere I Stand - Easyworld
A Day Without Rain - Enya
Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand
Happiness - Hurts
100 Broken Windows - Idlewild
Absolution - Muse
Black Holes and Revelations - Muse
(What's The Story) Morning Glory - Oasis
By The Way - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Escape - Sabio
() - Sigur Ros
Harmonies For The Haunted - Stellastarr*
Falling Down - Steve
Empty - Tait
Tom + Olly - Tom + Olly
Achtung Baby - U2
All That You Can't Leave Behind - U2
How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb - U2
Revived - World Wide Message Tribe


Looking over these lists, I notice that I have something close to a list of my favourite albums.  Which suggests that, for me, 'completeness' in an album is a very important factor in how much I like that album.

Deathly Hallows Part One

To everyone (individuals, websites, magazines etc.) saying that the latest Harry Potter film is good/impressive/brilliant/insert any other positive word here.

It is too late.

Maybe they've learnt to act now.  Maybe the characters have depth now.  Maybe the effects are convincing now.  Maybe the makers have learnt to adapt the novels now.

It is still too late.

It's one big saga, not 8 isolated films.  Just because one bit is good doesn't make the rest of it good.  Just because a mindless action film has one good chase scene, that doesn't make it a good film.

The filming of the Harry Potter books was doomed from the start, for reasons described here.  The fact that the films are improving doesn't stop them from being a disaster.

Swimming

They say that swimming is really good for overall fitness.  Now I see what they mean.
I've just been swimming (proper lane swimming) for the first time in my life, in an attempt to stay fit while injured.  I was in the pool for 20 minutes and now my whole body hurts, and I have a headache.  I hope I get better at this.

Power to the referees

So, Scottish football referees are planning to strike next weekend because of the criticism and threats aimed at them by some clubs/players/managers/fans.
People are giving them criticism for making mistakes.
They are making mistakes because (a) they are under a lot of pressure, (b) they are often deceived by players cheating - by diving, by not owning up to fouls or handballs, and (c) they do not have the technological help that is available in other sports and is required in football.

Several things must be done.
Firstly, hawkeye-style replays must be allowed.  For goalline incidents and other incidents in the penalty box.  Referees should be allowed to us TV replays.  The argument that this would stop the flow of the game is nonsense.  TV replays would be far less disruptive than the current arguments when a decision is questioned.  For decisions that the referees do not use replays for, each captain should get, say, one appeal per half, like in tennis.
Secondly, blatant diving and simulation should be a red card offence rather than yellow.  Over-the-top theatricality after a minor foul should be a yellow card offence (therefore a referee could give a freekick to the attacking team for a foul by the defending team, but also book the attacking player for making a meal of it).
Thirdly, only players involved in an incident, plus the captains, should be allowed to speak to the referee.  If any player is abusive or disrespectful to the referee, they should be booked.
Fourthly, if a player is booked or sent off for cynical cheating, diving or abuse, they should also pay a heavy fine, proportional to the league they are playing in.  So premiership players should be fined about 2 weeks wages for being sent off for diving.
Fifthly, referees should have the power to retrospectively give red and yellow cards for incidents they did not see in the game.

In short, more power to the referees and less to the players.

Reluctant praying

Why are most Christians (either in the world (I doubt), the West (possibly), the UK (likely), or my friendship group (it certainly seems so)) reluctant to pray?  I don't mean in general, but in certain situations.  Such as saying grace.  Or 'opening in prayer' (or closing for that matter).
I think it might be because these situations happen so often that it seems hard to be original and to say something that doesn't appear mundane and generic.  How many ways are there, really, to say thankyou for food?  And opening in prayer is such a generic thing, 'thankyou that we can meet here together, please be with us and speak to us blah blah blah'.  People don't like to volunteer for these things because they don't know what to say while still sounding genuine.
I don't know any solutions to this yet.  But it's a bit worrying, and this is a bit of a tip of an iceberg-sized rant on prayer and how we do it, which is not yet formulated enough to write.

Halloween

My objections to Halloween are not theological.  I don't have a problem with dressing up as witches/monsters/vampires etc.  It's just a laugh.
My objections to Halloween are social.  In what other context would it be acceptable for children (and sometimes adults) to approach the houses of complete strangers, knock persistently and aggressively on the door, and expect to be given sweets? It's incredibly rude when you think about it.  I object to this.

Disappointing films

Warning: spoilers below

Last week I watched two films: The Illusionist and Kick-Ass.  Both were disappointingly...well, disappointing.

The Illusionist looked good - a bit like The Prestige, but with Edward Norton and Jessica Biel.  It started well and kept me interested.  The problem was that it  just didn't work.
Basic plot: Magician (Norton) and princess (Biel) fall in love, but she is betrothed to the prince.  They fake her murder (by the prince), then the magician puts on lots of shows before running away with the princess.
This doesn't work for three reasons:

1. After faking the murder, the magician hangs around for literally years, for no reason other than to put on shows that involve seemingly conjuring dead spirits.  Why didn't he just run off with her straight away?  No explanation given.
2. Some of the magician's tricks are explained.  Fair play.  But the conjuring spirits thing, which is the main trick in the film, is not explained at all.  Frustrating.
3. Throughout the film we are lead to believe that the princess is dead.  The fact that she isn't is revealed in the final scene as the chief of police pieces together the evidence.  However, he didn't actually discover any of this evidence himself, it just 'appears' in his mind in the last scene.  Completely unconvincing.

Kick-ass was a film I wasn't sure about but I was told it was very entertaining.  Basic plot: teenager decides to try to become a superhero, discovers other people are doing a similar thing, and gets mixed up in battling a gang.

The main problem I had with kick-ass is that it didn't seem to know what genre it was trying to be.  There were elements of superhero, epic action a la Matrix, comedy, romance, spoof, high-school movie.  But none of these held any water because there were so many other things going on.  The only styles that could have really worked were comedy and spoof.  The problem is, it just wasn't that funny.

The frustrating thing about all this is that both films had potential to be decent films.  Both failed to fulfil.  Disappointing.  Does anyone agree with me about these two films?  Or did anyone come to a different conclusion about them?

Injury

Fact 1: I like sport, a lot.  I like watching it and playing it.  This year, I was hoping to do 6 sports regularly.

Fact 2: I have chronic tendonitis in my left knee.  I've had it for about 10-12 years but it's got a lot worse in the last 12 months or so.

Fact 1 + Fact 2 = Decision 3: I went to see a physio, who recommended reducing activity and gave me stretches and exercises to do.

Decision 3 = consequences 4: I am only doing 3 sports, having dropped running, cycling and breakdancing; and 5: I am doing half an hour of stretches and exercises a day.

Fact 6: Consequences 4 and 5 do not seem to be helping, my knee is getting no better.

Fact 6 leads to possibility 7: I need to further reduce sport, to allow my knee to heal more effectively.

Possibility 7 leads to implication 8: I may stop playing football and volleyball, and just play frisbee, until my knee is better.

Implication 8 causes likelihood 9: I will get bored and frustrated.  I am already bored and frustrated at having to drop running, cycling and breakdancing.  I will not be pleasant to be around if I have to drop football and volleyball too.

Likelihood 9 results in requests 10: if you pray, please pray for my knee; and 11: if you have any practical suggestions, either about how to help my knee or about how to deal with lack of sport in my life, please let me know.

The Sunshine Underground

This is a band I recently discovered after hearing one of their songs on Spotify at a friends house. Apart from having a really cool name, they also make quite good music.

To be perfectly blunt, I don't really know how to describe them. Indie-rocky-dancy-techno-ish I guess. Somewhere between the Klaxons and Franz Ferdinand maybe? They're not superb, I'm not going to rave about them as if they were about to become one of my favourite bands ever, but they are definitely worth a listen. They're a lot of fun. Spotify them. The best tracks are: Wake Up, Borders, Panic Attack, Spell it out, Change your mind, Here it comes, One by one, The Messiah.

Unique feelings and GCUFC

You know there are some things that cause unique feelings, that aren't replicated anywhere else?
Some of mine are:
Boxing day
The smell of Hebron Hall
Seeing teenagers worship
The final scene of LOTR
A new season for Grey College Ultimate Frisbee Club

The last one has happened recently.  I'm now in my 8th season playing for GCUFC.  The uni team asked me to join, there were several opportunities to leave, but, although I want to be as good at frisbee as I can, I want to do that with GCUFC.  And I love it at the start of the season when we start playing again after the summer and when freshers turn up to learn how to play.  I love teaching new players and watching them learn and improve.

Happiness by Hurts - album review

I discovered this band when I saw my sister and brother talking about them on Facebook. The usual research on Spotify followed, and then a purchase from Amazon.

I'll be the first to admit that Hurts are not my usual sort of band. As my sister commented, they are a bit poppy for my usual tastes. I'm not sure why I took to them really. Some of it (mainly Blood, Tears and Gold, but also Stay) is definitely a bit poppy for me, but most of it I really enjoy. I guess it's just a bit different. Elements of modern pop, but also some nice drum rhythms and cool synth work in there. It doesn't sound like much else.

Interestingly, the second half of the album is definitely stronger than the first. Illuminated and Evelyn are haunting, Better than love so 80s it's amazing, Devotion is on my soundtrack of 2010, to be publicised in a couple of months, and Unspoken and The Water are just gorgeous. Whereas the only standout track from the first half is Sunday.

If you'd like to listen to something a bit different, give Hurts a try. Don't be put off if you don't like some of it, I reckon there's enough good songs in there to make it worth your while and your money, and there are two or three absolute gems.

There are far better reviews than this on the internet - NME's is the best but the link broke just as I was trying to insert it here.  Sorry about that.

3-track sequences

While listening to Bloc Party's 'A weekend in the city' yesterday, I was reminded of how brilliant the three track sequence from tracks 8 to 10 is. The led me to ponder other three track sequences that I adore.

I decided to browse my music collection and note down such sequences. I expected to find maybe 20 or so. I found 88. 88! Insane! Many of those consisted of more than 3 tracks, some even hit double figures, several accounted for entire albums or almost entire albums. And this is not counting the many superb songs I know that just don't happen to occur as part of such sequences on their albums.

I am once again amazed at (a) how much awesome music I own, (b) how lucky I am to own it, and (c) what a huge effect music has on me.

If anyone is interested, the sequences are below. Apologies for the lack of consistency in capitalisation.

Anberlin – Cities – Godspeed/Adelaide/A whisper and a clamour

Anberlin – Cities – Inevitable/Dismantle.Repair/Fin

Anberlin – New Surrender – Breaking/Blame Me! Blame Me!/Retrace

Ash – Free All Angels – Walking Barefoot/Shining Light/Burn Baby Burn

Athlete – Beyond the Neighbourhood – Airport Disco/It's not your fault/The Outsiders/Flying over bus stops/Second Hand Stores

Athlete – Black Swan – Superhuman Touch/The Getaway/Black Swan Song

Athlete – Tourist – Wires/If I found out/Yesterday Threw Everything At Me

Bloc Party – Silent Alarm – This Modern Love/Pioneers/The Price of Gas

Bloc Party – A Weekend in the City – Song for Clay/Hunting for Witches/Waiting for the7.18/The Prayer/Uniform

Bloc Party – A Weekend in the City – Kreuzberg/I Still remember/Sunday

Bluetree – Greater Things – Life's Noise/Burn Me Up/For You

British Sea Power – The Decline of British Sea Power – Fear of Drowning/The Lonely/Carrion/Blackout/Lately/A Wooden Horse

British Sea Power – Do You Like Rock Music? - Lights out for darker skies/No Lucifer/Waving Flags

Casting Crowns – Lifesong – Praise You in this Storm/Does anybody hear her?/Stained glass Masquerade

Coldplay – A rush of blood to the head – In my place/God put a smile on your face/The Scientist/Clocks

DCTalk – Jesus Freak – Coloured People/Jesus Freak/What if I Stumble?

DCTalk – Jesus Freak – In the light/What have we become?/Mind's eye

Delirious – Glo – God you are my God/Glo in the dark part 1/God's Romance/Investigate/Glo in the dark part 2/What would I have done?/My Glorious/Everything

Delirious – King of Fools – Sanctify/Deeper/Revival Town

Delirious – King of Fools – White Ribbon Day/King of Fools/History Maker

Delirious – Kingdom of Comfort – God is Smiling/Give What You've Got/Love will find a way

Delirious – Mezzamorphis – The Mezzanine Floor/Heaven/Follow/Bliss

Delirious – The Mission Bell – Miracle Maker/Here I am Send Me/Fires Burn/Our God Reigns

Delirious – World Service – Rain Down/God in Heaven/Majesty/Inside Outside

Easyworld – This is where I stand – Try not to think/100 weight/Junkies and Whores/This is where I stand/A stain to never fade/Demons

Editors – The Back Room – Lights/Munich/Blood

Editors – An End has a Start – Smokers outside the hospital doors/An end has a start/The weight of the world/Bones

Enya – A day without rain – A day without rain/Wild Child/Only Time

Evanescence – Fallen – Going Under/Bring me to life/Everybody's Fool/My Immortal

Feeder – Comfort in Sound – Just the way I'm feeling/Come back around/Helium/Child in you/Comfort in Sound

Feeder – Pushing the Senses – Feeling a Moment/Bitter Glass/Tumble and Fall

Franz Ferdinand – Franz Ferdinand – Take Me Out/The dark of the matinee/Auf Achse

Heat – Can I See Heaven – One Sacrifice/Can I see heaven/In love with God/To love you more/Arms of love/Arise and Shine/Can I see heaven part 2

Idlewild – 100 Broken Windows – Little Discourage/I don't have the map/These wooden ideas/Roseability/Idea Track/Let me sleep

Idlewild – Make another world – You and I are both away/Ghost in the Arcade/Once in your life/Finished it remains

Idlewild – The Remote Part – You held the world/A modern way of letting go/American English

Idlewild – The Remote Part – Tell me ten words/Stay the same/Scottish Fiction

Idlewild – Warnings/Promises – El Capitan/Blame it on the obvious ways/Disconnected/Goodnight

Kato – Welcome to my world – Natural High/Javaman/Heaven Help

Killers – Hot Fuss – Jenny was a friend of mine/Mr Brightside/Smile like you mean it/Somebody told me/All these things that I've done

Killers – Sam's Town – Sam's Town/Enterlude/When you were young/Bling/For reasons unknown/Read my mind/Uncle Jonny/Bones

Lifehouse – No Name Face – Hanging by a moment/Sick cycle carousel/Unknown

Lifehouse – No Name Face – Only One/Simon/Breathing/Quasimodo/Somewhere in between/Everything

Lifehouse – Smoke and Mirrors – Halfway Gone/It is what it is/From where you are

Live – Birds of Pray – Heaven/She/The sanctity of dreams/Run Away

Matt Redman – Facedown – Facedown/Breathing the breath/Mission's Flame

Matt Redman – The Friendship and the Fear – There is a louder shout to come/Believer/Bowing Down/Deep calls to deep

Matt Redman – The Friendship and the Fear - Knocking on the door of heaven/Once again/Can I ascend/Can we walk upon the water/The way of the cross/I need to get the fire back/The yoke is easy/The friendship and the fear/In the waiting

Matt Redman – Intimacy – The heart of worship/Now to live the life/For the cross

Matt Redman – Passion for your name – It's rising up/The cross has said it all/I will offer up my life

Matt Redman – We shall not be shaken – We shall not be shaken/Through it all/You alone can rescue

Matt Redman – Where Angels Fear to Tread – Blessed Be/Befriended/When my heart runs dry

Mew – And the glass handed kites – Circuitry of the wolf/Chinaberry tree/Why are you looking grave/Fox cub/Apocalypso/Special/The zookeeper's boy

Mew – Frengers – Am I wry? No/156/Snow Brigade/Symmetry/Behind the drapes/Her voice is beyond her years/Eight flew over, one was destroyed/She came home for Christmas/Shespider/Comforting sounds

Muse – Absolution – Apocalypse Please/Time is running out/Sing for absolution/Stockholm Syndrome

Muse – Absolution – Butterflies and Hurricanes/The Small Print/Endlessly/Thoughts of a dying atheist

Muse – Black Holes and Revelations – Take a bow/Starlight/Supermassive black hole/Map of the problematique

Muse – Origin of Symmetry – Plug in baby/Citizen Erased/Micro cuts

Muse – The resistance – Uprising/Resistance/Undisclosed desires/United states of Eurasia/Guiding Light/Unnatural selection

Oasis – Be Here Now – D'you know what I mean/My big mouth/Magic Pie/Stand by me

Oasis – (What's the story) Morning Glory – Hello/Roll with it/Wonderwall/Don't look back in anger

RHCP – By the way – Cabron/Tear/On Mercury

RHCP – Californication – Around the world/Parallel Universe/Scar Tissue/Otherside/Get on top/Californication/Easily

Sabio – Escape – Mother/Frozen/Carry me

Santiago – Dance – Fade/Ne Puritans/Pyrotechnophobes

Sigur Ros - () - Vaka/Frysta/Samskeyti

Sigur Ros – Takk – Takk/Glosoli/Hoppipolla/Meo Blodnasir/Se Lest/Saeglopur/Milano/Gong

Sixpence none the richer – Divine Discontent – Still Burning/Melody of you/Paralyzed

Stellastarr* - Harmonies for the haunted – Lost in Time/Damn this foolish heart/The diver/Sweet troubled soul/Born in a fleamarket/On my own

Stereophonics – Roll up and shine/The bartender and the thief/Hurry up and wait/pick a part that's new

Steve – Falling down – Zealous core/My ever my all/M/Fine/Falling down/Divine design/Smile/Hunger/Hey now/I am here

Strangeday – Blink and miss it – Lead me on/Fearfully, wonderfully/It'll be alright/Trust in you/Wonderful

Tait – Empty – Spy/Talk about Jesus/American Tragedy

Tait – Empty – Carried away/Empty/Unglued

Tim Hughes – Here I am to worship – Maker of all things/May the words of my mouth/Here I am to worship

Tim Hughes – When Silence Falls – Beautiful one/You/Consuming fire/Giver of life/Whole world in his hands

Tom and Olly – Tom and Olly – Little things/Daydreamer/Trouble/Let me tell you

Tom and Olly – Tom and Olly – Love at the disco/Sun is shingins/Dream of change/Paint a smile/Jamie/City stars/Falling

U2 – Achtung Baby – Zoo station/Even better than the real thing/One/Until the end of the world

U2 – All that you can't leave behind – Beautiful day/Stuck in a moment/Elevation/Walk On/Kite

U2 – All that you can't leave behind – New York/Grace/Ground beneath her feet

U2 – How to dismantle and atomic bomb – Vertigo/Miracle drug/Sometimes you can't make it on your own

U2 – How to dismantle and atomic bomb – City of blinding lights/All because of you/A man and a woman/Crumbs from your table

U2 – The Joshua Tree – Where the streets have no name/I still haven't found what I'm looking for/With or without you

U2 – Gloria/I fall down/I threw a brick through a window/Rejoice/Fire/Tomorrow

U2 – War – Sunday Bloody Sunday/Seconds/New year's day/Like a song

World wide message tribe – Techno intro/Reach for heaven/In my life/Alleluia

World wide message tribe – The cross/Life/O come all ye faithful

I wish kids were more confident

This week, I had PCC (PSHE (Personal, Social and Health Education), Careers and Citizenship) with my form - yeah, that's why we call it PCC.  It really boring, except for the times you get to talk about sex drugs and rock'n'roll.
Anyway, at the start of the new year I decided to do a lesson about looking back on last years achievements and setting targets for the future.  At one point I got them all to write down, individually, 3 things they were good at.  They then showed the list to a friend, who was to add one more thing to it.  I then asked for some volunteers to tell everyone what was on their list.  No-one volunteered.
My form aren't particularly shy, and it was very unusual that no-one wanted to speak (though, in this circumstance, I wasn't surprised).  I asked then why no-one volunteered.  Various answers were 'it can come across as arrogant', 'people might disagree with you' and 'it's not very modest'
This frustrates me - that kids aren't confident enough to admit to others what they are good at, and that they worry about what people will think of them if they do.  I know it's important not to brag about one's attributes and skills, but I think it's important to be able to acknowledge and admit them.
It's partly the old 'British modesty' thing, and it's partly that people just aren't confident enough about themselves.
If I could change one thing about the world, I would raise everyone's self-esteem. 

The crux of deathbed regrets

A post from the master of graphs and Venn diagrams, Jessica Hagy.

http://thisisindexed.com/2010/09/the-crux-of-deathbed-regrets/

If you can get your head around it, it's a good point well made.

Twilight

I read the Twilight Saga this summer. I wanted to know what all the fuss is about. Now I've read them, I'm still not sure what all the fuss is about.

I guess they're easy to read, which helps with the whole popularity thing. There's kissing and fighting, so maybe something for everyone?

But generally, I found the series unfulfilling, disappointing and unconvincing, mainly for the following reasons.

1. 
   
   The classic vampire mythology (coffins, stakes etc.) is dismissed as (I quote) 'all myth', allowing Meyer to set up her new 'sexy vampire' mythology. This is convenient but flawed, because now I could write a book about vampires and dismiss classic vampires and Meyer's vampires as 'mythology' and write that real vampires are actually made of jelly and smell of lavender, and actually prefer a diet of lettuce and rubber. That Meyer shows such disrespect for the fantasy/horror genre mildly insults me, and I'm not even a particularly ardent fan of that genre. Compare with (inevitably) Rowling, who takes the original mythology of ghosts, werewolves, dragons, sphinxes etc, and applies it to her stories, while maintaining the integrity of the original myths.
2. 
   
   The story centres around the relationship between Bella and Edward, which is fine – it's basically a romance story. Not particularly my thing, but that's ok. But their relationship is portrayed as so perfect! When they're together, they never seriously argue, or if they do it's written in a very light-hearted way. Also, Bella's descriptions of Edward focus on his 'perfect, godlike body' and 'flawless, angelic face'. Only once that I can remember does she describe what she likes about his character, and that is only when someone directly asks her. This is all both vomit-inducing and unrealistic, and basically emotional pornography.
3. 
   
   The story, while easy to read, is mostly slow paced. For large sections, nothing actually happens. There's no pace or excitement, which is a bit of a problem for novels that try to mix the genres of romance and fantasy. Only for a few chapters part way through book 4 was I really gripped, and that was possibly because the focus was off the two rather boring lead characters and on Jacob, who is way more interesting but gets much less page time.
4. 
   
   Several times, questions were set up and kept me pondering, and then never actually answered. For example, the question of exactly why Bella smells so good to both Edward and James is set up in book one, as though it will be revealed later and will form a vital plot point or twist. In fact, it is never revealed. This is very disappointing. Again, contrast with Rowling, who sets things up in one book and reveals their importance 4, 5, 6 books later.
5. 
   
   Most of the story is written first person from Bella's point of view. A short section is from Jacob's POV – this is a really nice change but unfortunately comes across as gimmicky because it is the only other POV used and is relatively short. If the books had had several POVs, or if Jacob's POVs had been more like 40-50% of the series, it would have worked. Written as it is, it doesn't.
6. 
   
   There are so many deus ex machinas! For example, how the two alpha's discover they can communicate, how Nessie can communicate to Bella and not get stopped by Bella's shield, and, the massive one, how Jacob imprints on Nessie (disgustingly and unconvincingly convenient) – I thought Meyer was having a laugh and was about to say 'only kidding, that would be stupid!'
7. 
   
   By the fourth book, the series had become something of an X-men ripoff. Every other vampire has some sort of superpower (the origins of which are disappointingly not explained) and all the talk is of how to combine the powers to win the battle and how to take out the enemy vampires with key powers etc, etc. All very well but painfully unoriginal.
8. 
   
   There is no payoff at the end of the story, no climax. Everything is set up nicely for a big confrontation, and then they all say sorry and go home! No-one even dies (well, only one minor character who we've never actually met before and therefore have no attachment to). An incredibly weak ending.

Overall, a big disappointment. Ok, so I wasn't expecting a masterpiece, but I also wasn't expecting to be so continually disappointed and bored. It seemed as though some author somewhere had written some really good books, and I was reading some trashy fanfiction based on them.

Reviews such as 'Move over, Harry Potter' are at best laughable and at worst blasphemous, and I side with Stephen King, who said "the real difference between J.K. Rowling and Meyer is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer, and Stephenie Meyer can't write a darn.  She's not very good."

Lifehouse Intros

I have a friend called Joe. There are many reasons that I like Joe. One reason is that he doesn't get annoyed by my habit of creating lists and rankings of bands, songs, films, books, sports teams etc. A second reason is that he actively encourages me and does the same himself. It often gets silly – a couple of weeks ago we were debating the 'Five Greatest Lifehouse Intros'. After some cogitation, here is my ranking – not just 5, but 10 (I am so cool...).

1. Quasimodo
2. Take Me Away
3. Disarray
4. Blind
5. Smoke and Mirrors
6. Just Another Name
7. Spin
8. Anchor
9. Easier To Be
10. Unknown

Inception

Warning: Some spoilers below. If you haven't seen this film, don't read on. Watch it instead. At least twice. Here's the trailer, if you're interested.

Inception, directed my Christopher Nolan (Memento, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight) and starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Cillian Murphy and Ellen Page, is the story of Dom Cobb (DiCaprio), an 'extractor', who can enter people's dreams and extract information from their minds – kind of psychological espionage. Cobb and his team, including Aridane (Page), are hired to perform 'inception' – the opposite of extraction – the planting of an idea in a target's (Murphy) mind without detection.

It's basically a crime/action thriller, with some psychological stuff thrown in. There is plenty of action and suspense, but with a very complex plot that makes the heist in Ocean's Eleven look painfully obvious. Added to these are brilliantly conceived ideas about how dreams work and a very personal story following DiCaprio's character.

The film was well received by critics and the public (87% on Rotten Tomatoes). In my opinion, it is about 50 times as good as Avatar and an early contender for film of the decade. It is genuinely one of the best films I have ever seen. That's one reason I saw it 3 times at the cinema (an honour only otherwise given to the three Lord of the Rings films). The other reason is that there's so much in the film that second and third viewings were necessary – the second to completely get to grips with the plot and themes, and the third to look out for hints about a theory a friend and I had about the film.

I will now attempt to explain exactly why the film is so good.

1. The plot. The storyline is involved and gripping. It is complex but well-explained. It makes you concentrate but doesn't make concentration a chore. There is plenty of suspense, but it is genuine rather than forced and interspersed with humour.
2. The concept. The idea of sharing dreams and extracting and planting information is interesting but fairly unremarkable, but the way Nolan incorporates so many features of dreams (e.g. they seem real while you're dreaming, they seem to last a lot longer than the 5-minutes or so of real time that you dream for, you start in the middle of a dream and can't remember how you got there) is very clever and makes the concept convincing. Combined with the complexity of the plot, this makes you think a lot and gives plenty to talk about.
3. Ambiguity. The ending is ambiguous and open to interpretation, but not in intriguing rather than an annoying way. In fact, the whole film can be interpreted in various ways. This has given rise to multiple internet discussions and theories in a very similar way to The Matrix about 10 years ago. Again, this makes you think hard, which most people don't do enough.
4. Cobb's story. Dom Cobb (DiCaprio) has a very personal motivation for taking the job offered to him, and his story (and backstory) gives the film a very personal angle as well as the standard heist/action stuff, and also adds a lot of suspense and tension, shown in the interactions between some of the team.
5. Score. The music is by Hanz Zimmer, who I consider to be one of the top 3 composers in film. In many films the music is good but nothing to write home about, but Zimmer's score is excellent and really adds to the mood of the film.
6. Effects. One effect in particular – a hotel corridor with gravity that keeps changing direction, filmed in a revolving set. This produces one of the coolest fight scenes ever.

Seriously, make sure you see this film – you won't regret it.

Films of the decade

Having produced a series of 'Albums of the Decade' posts at the end of 2009, I thought I should also produce a 'Films of the Decade' list. I tried to do this, but couldn't get 10. I either got stuck on about 4, or, having included a few more, rapidly shot up to about 15. So instead of going for the best films of the noughties, I've picked out 10 films from that decade that, for various reasons, you should watch. This is not my top 10 (you'll notice an absence of Stardust, Shrek 2, The Prestige, Equilibrium and others that would have been contenders). Instead, it's just 10 films I recommend that you watch, if you haven't already. Films in alphabetical order. Links take you to trailers.

A Beautiful Mind (2001)

Because it's some of the best writing and acting of the decade and because it's a superb portrayal of John Nash's life.

Bridge to Terabithia (2007)

Because it's jointly the most moving film I've ever seen (with Return of the King) and because its message is an important one.  Review here.

Gladiator (2000)

Because it's just awesome - acting, script, action, music...you name it.

The Lord Of The Rings (2001-2003)

Because it's the best damn film ever. Do not argue with me!

Memento (2000)

Because the storytelling style is so unique and because it will make you think hard, which is something you don't do enough.

Moulin Rouge (2001)

Because of it's unique wackyness and because it's actually a really good film too.

Shrek (2001)

Because it's the one of the cleverest films of the decade, and also very funny and moving.

The Dark Knight (2008)

Because it's almost the perfect action film, and because Christopher Nolan deserves to be on this list twice.

The Last King of Scotland (2006)

Because even though I'm not very into this sort of film, this one gripped me, and because the lead actors are superb.

Up (2009)

Because it represents so much about Pixar – excellent animation, the ability to make moving films about animated characters, and their strongest theme of unlikely friendships.

Playground games

I'm just wondering...what are your top five playground games?  I think mine are:
1. Bulldog
2. Forty-forty home
3. Build up tag
4. Off-ground tag
5. What's the time, Mr Wolf?

...and all the Kings men

About a year ago, I read a book called 'Why Men Hate Going To Church', by David Murrow. It was basically about why and how the church is geared more towards women than men. One thing the book discussed was the relative proportions of women and men attending church services.

I decided to find out what sort of 'gender gap' my own church, Kings Church Durham, has. Each Sunday service from September 2009 to July 2010 I counted the number of over-18 men and women at Kings. I decided on the over-18 cutoff because young children are generally brought to church by their parents, rather than of their own accord and, while teenagers tend to have more choice, I had to make a cutoff somewhere.

I counted numbers at each different type of Kings meeting – Morning Worship, Crux, Connecting with God, prayer evenings, evening services, evening guest services and the AGM. I used the numbers to produce a simple percentage – the percentage of the congregation that were male. I also calculated a 'minus team percentage' – the percentage if the 6 female and 10 male staff and interns are discounted, as they are required at the services as part of the job.

All this resulted in many Excel spreadsheets and graphs, but the most important are below:

The average totals for each service are interesting but not that unexpected. For reference, the most people at any service was on 11^th October, at 313 people. This was the first Sunday of the student year. The highest at Crux was 48, Connecting was 149 and prayer meeting was 52.

The male percentages are much more interesting. Here they are in table form:

Service type	Male %	Male % minus team
Morning Worship	43.26	41.5
Crux	61.32	60.48
Connecting	41.61	38.59
Evening (joint)	39.66	34.51
Evening Guest	42.59	40.41
Prayer meeting	49.87	42.19
AGM	55.56	51.72
Average over all services	43.9	41.31

So, overall, Kings has averaged 43.9% this academic year (41.31 excluding team). Morning worship is typical of this percentage. Connecting, joint evening services and evening guest services are slightly lower. Prayer meetings, the AGM and Crux get successively higher, up to 61.32% male at Crux (60.48 excluding team).

A few comments:

• 
  
  Surveys seem to show that male % in churches is generally below 40%, so Kings is doing better than average, but still well below 50%.
• 
  
  Possible explanations for the variations in services are: Connecting and similar services have lower percentages because they are more 'emotional', crux is higher because it is more 'academic', prayer meetings and AGM are higher showing a balanced (or even male dominated) 'core' in the church but a female dominated periphery or studentdom.
• 
  
  This survey does not examine male percentages within certain age groups.
• 
  
  This survey is purely attendance based, it does not look at involvement in cell groups and other church activities (though I would hazard a guess that the only church activities which are male dominated are setup and worship).
• 
  
  The December 2009 address list give a male % of 44.29%. The most up to date cell list gives 43.93%. These are consistent with average service attendance.
• 
  
  Not all services were counted. Sometimes I was either absent or not in a position to count.

The overall message?

1. 
   
   Kings, like almost every church, needs more men.
2. 
   
   There is something about Crux, prayer meetings and the AGM that attracts more men than women.

Hebron memories

Long time, no blog. It's been a busy few weeks with moving house, my housemate's wedding and the end of term. But here are the summer holidays. 6 weeks until school restarts.

At this time of the year, I would normally be in Dinas Powys in South Wales, a few miles outside Cardiff, leading a Scripture Union camp called Hebron. I've been to Hebron ten times, but 2009 was the final time we ran it. For various reasons, it was decided that Hebron would cease to run from 2010.

I heard this news in November 2009. It has taken me this long to write about it because I wanted to let the news sink in completely first. This has taken a while because of the deep impact Hebron has had on my life over the last decade.

I first went to Hebron in July 1999. I'd had a rough year at school (year 9), and did not enjoy my church at all. I was vaguely adolescent which just made me feel weird too, as it does to all teenagers.

I went to Hebron that year with 2 friends, Daniel and Tom. I won't try to describe what the camp was like, partly because I am nowhere near eloquent enough to do it justice, and partly because each Hebron year tends to fade into several others. But I remember a few things specifically, from that first year and the following two.

1. I met a whole bunch of people who were in the same situation as me – struggling at school, trying to hold together a faith, and just looking for some support or even just someone to say 'me too'. Rob, Kirsty, Jo and Paul are all people with whom I am no longer in touch, but they had a deep effect on my life over those three years.
2. My friends from camp, and also the leaders, loved me for who I was. This sounds cliched, but I hadn't reached the stage at school (an all-boys grammar school) where proper friendships had formed. At Hebron they did, and I was accepted for being me, not bullied into being someone else. The leaders in particular were inspirational in their love, service and respect for us.
3. I really connected with the worship times at Hebron. The worship at my home church was a complete turn off but at Hebron, like at Spring Harvest, I met with God in ways that I didn't elsewhere.

Hebron 99, 2000 and 2001 saved my faith, for the reasons above and for other reasons. It changed my life. I remember the 5-a-side football competition, the puppet workshops and performances (Heavenly Pie!), the BBQ on the lawn, round the table table tennis, going to see Shrek and The Phantom Menace at the cinema, visiting the Big Pit, Nexus, Rob climbing inside the pool table, buzz groups, wallball (the greatest game you've never played), Paul's hair, the shadow wall at Techniquest, breakfast talks, pitch and putt at Barry Park, Colin yelling 'Freedom!' and nearly giving us all a heart attack, Phil and Becky just sitting with me for about an hour on the last night of 2000, Matt's underwear theft, signing notebooks (in the days before MSN!), trying to sneak into the girls corridor, and last-night testimonies showing how it was my no means just me who owed their faith to that camp.

For the next seven years I returned to Hebron as a leader. I'd done a bit of youth work before, I was in love with Hebron, and I felt like I owed about 50 weeks of leadership and service to it. I knew leading would be different and tried not to draw comparisons with being a camper. But, me being me, I inevitably compared and the conclusion was clear. Being a leader was what it was all about for me. I was wired just right to be a leader on that camp. It was completely natural for me, and, while I've done youth work in lots of other contexts, I've never felt the same way about it as while I was at Hebron. Many of the most emotional times of my life have been when leading at Hebron. What made it so significant?

It was a chance to give back to the place, the people and the event that had changed my life. It was a chance to work with teenagers, who are far more interesting and exciting than adults. I worked on a team with some great friends like Becky, Dan, Dave and Ruth, Paul, Jenny, Amy, Matt and Phil. And worked under two of the most amazing Christian leaders I know, Colin and Margy, learning from them and being guided and encouraged by them. I could to use my gifts in preaching, organising and puppetry(!). I saw so many lives changed over those seven years. I saw people meet God for the first time, meet him in new ways, recommit their lives to him, discover his calling on their lives, grow in knowledge and giftings, and build such strong friendships with each other.

I remember blaring music on the minibuses, powerboating in Cardiff bay, the prayer tents, death swimming, shower pranks, washing up teams, the animal game on the sofas, running the bank, building towers of squash bottles, trying to learn the names of 65 teenagers on the first day, wandering round Cardiff city centre, sardines, football on the beach, piggy-backs in the sea, telling the doughnut story and explaining that God owns all your jeans, late night walks with other leaders, early morning prayer meetings, booking cinema tickets for 80 people, getting a turkey at tenpin bowling and beating Tom by a point, sleepovers in Rising Brook church, finding out that Dan lived with Aaron from Strangeday, Father Abraham, the prayer evening in 2007, sleeping in the tiniest room with Dan and Paul, the lying down game, fancy dress parties, Phil's 50^th birthday. Most of all I remember watching kids worship. This is still one of the things that is most guaranteed to make me cry – seeing teenagers worship. My favourite photo in the world is of one of the worship times at Hebron 2005.

Hebron had an unexplainable impact on my life. Colin and Margy were like parents to me when I was there, and I can't thank them enough for all the support and opportunities they gave me. I am still very sad that Hebron is over, but very grateful for the effect it has had on me.

A pebble in the moonlight

This is one of my favourite pieces of writing.  It's from a novel called Waylander, by David Gemmell.

I love how it describes fear, and overcoming it.

Danyal was awake, her lip swollen and a bruise on her cheek. Caymal sat beside her. The wagon was cramped and the baker's two young children were sleeping beside Danyal.

'Thank you', she said, forcing a smile.

'They will not trouble you again.'

Caymal eased himself past Waylander and climbed out over the tailboard. Waylander moved up to sit beside Danyal. 'Are you hurt?' he asked.

'No. Not much anyway. Did you kill them?'

'Yes.'

'How is it you can do these things?'

'Practice,' he said.

'No, that's not what I meant. Caymal tried to stop the man...and Caymal is strong, but he was brushed aside like a child.'

'It is all about fear, Danyal. Do you want to rest now?'

'No, I want some air. Let's walk somewhere.'

He helped her from the wagon and they walked to the cliff face and sat on the rocks.

'Tell me about fear,' she said.

He walked away from her and stooped to lift a pebble.

'Catch this,' he said, flicking the stone towards her. Her hand snaked out and she caught the pebble deftly. 'That was easy, was it not?'

'Yes,' she admitted.

'Now if I had Krylla and Miriel here, and two men had knives at their throats and you were told that if you missed the pebble they would die, would it still be easy to catch? Think of those times in your life when you were nervous, and your movements became disjointed.

'Fear makes fools of us all. So too does anger, rage and excitement. And then we move too fast and there is no control. You follow me?'

'I think so. When I had to give my first performance before the King of Drenan, I froze. All I had to do was walk across the stage, but my legs felt as if they were carved from wood.'

'That is it. Exactly! The onset of fear makes the simplest of actions complex and difficult. No more so than when we fight...and I can fight better than most because I bring all my concentration to bear on the small things. The pebble remains a pebble, no matter what hangs upon success or failure.

'Can you teach me?'

'I don't have time.'

'You are not obeying your own mantra. This is a small thing. Forget the quest and concentrate on me, Waylander – I need to learn.'

'How to fight?'

'No – how to conquer fear. Then you can teach me to fight.'

'Very well. Start by telling me what is fear?'

'An ending.'

'Make it worse.'

'Maggots and grey rotting flesh?'

'Good. And where are you?'

'Gone. Finished.'

'Do you feel anything?'

'No...perhaps. If there is a paradise.'

'Forget paradise.'

'Then I feel nothing. I am no longer alive.'

'This death, can you avoid it?'

'Of course not.'

'But you can delay it?'

'Yes.'

'And what will that give you?'

'The prospect of more happiness.'

'But at worst?'

'The prospect of more pain,' she said. 'Old age, wrinkles, decay.'

'Which is worse? Death or decay?'

'I am young. At the moment I fear both.'

'To conquer fear, you must realise that there is no escape from what you dread. You must absorb it/. Live with it. Taste it. Understand it. Overcome it.'

'I understand that,' she said.

'Good. What do you fear most at this moment?'

'I fear losing you.'

He moved away from her and lifted a pebble. Clouds partly obscured the moonlight and she strained to see his hand.

'I am going to throw this to you,' he said. 'If you catch it, you stay – if you miss it, you return to Skarta.'

'No, that's not fair! The light is poor.'

'Life is not fair, Danyal. If you do not agree, I shall ride away from the wagons alone.'

'Then I agree.'

Without another word he flicked the stone towards her – a bad throw, moving fast and to her left. Her hand flashed out and the pebble bounced against her palm, but she caught it at the second attempt. Relief swept through her and her eyes were triumphant.

'Why so pleased?' he asked.

'I won!'

'No. Tell me what you did.'

'I conquered my fear?'

'No.'

'Well, what then? I don't understand you.'

'But you must, if you wish to learn.'

Suddenly she smiles. 'I understand they mystery, Waylander.'

'Then tell me what you did.'

'I caught a pebble in the moonlight.'

Just catch the pebble.

Why England got knocked out

This is my World Cup rant. Enjoy. Here are the reasons England had a poor world cup:

1. Terry's affair. What a donkey. Because of John Terry's lack of faithfulness and self-control he lost the captaincy, his form dropped, and the squad lost unity, probably thinking 'I wonder if he's been screwing my wife too'.
2. Squad selection. Lennon, Wright-Phillips and Walcott are identical players, and none of them are that useful I agree with Capello that Lennon is the best of the three, but SWP was a waste of a squad place. He should not have been on the plane. I'm not sure who I would have taken instead – maybe Downing or Bent.
3. Ferdinand/King injuries. With Terry off form, We really needed Rio, both as a pacey defender and a captain. His injury was bad luck. Then King's injury was even worse luck.
4. Lennon was poor. No delivery. Not good enough. Milner was better.
5. Green's mistake. One of those things you can't predict, but it made a difference. It's not an excuse though, England should have still had enough to beat USA.
6. SWP coming on as sub. He's the same as Lennon, but even worse. He has no delivery. He should not be playing.
7. The Heskey/Rooney partnership did not work. I don't know why. Possibly because teams predicted it too well.
8. Heskey coming on as sub instead of Crouch. Capello played Heskey because, while he doesn't score, he brings the best out of Rooney. Once this stopped working, he switched to Defoe. Good decision. But then, when it came to replacing a striker, he brought on Heskey, who (a) cannot score, and (b) no longer works well with Rooney. Whereas Crouch can score (and does, frequently!), and would be a much better option.
9. Lampard's free kicks. Apart from the one when he hit the bar against Germany, Lampard's free kicks were abysmal. Either way over the bar or straight into the wall. Many chances wasted.
10. We had no tempo against Algeria or USA. We allowed the other teams to dictate the pace, and thus struggled to break them down because they had time to set up their defence. Ergo, we couldn't score more goals than them.
11. Missed chances against Slovenia. Way too many of them. Simply wasteful at this level. A single extra goal would have seen us top the group and play Ghana and Uruguay rather than Germany and Argentina.
12. Disallowed goal against Germany. Shocking decision that did change the game. Had it gone in, we would have been level, we would have had the momentum, Germany would have been reeling, and we wouldn't have had to commit 9 men forward at set pieces to get an equaliser and then get caught on the break.
13. Not bringing on Joe Cole for Defoe as plan B. Capello didn't really have a plan B. SWP for Lennon was like-for-like. SWP for Milner was a step backwards. Heskey for Defoe did not work, as discussed above. He should have brought Cole on for Defoe, put Cole on the left, and shifted Gerrard to the hole. Gerrard and Rooney are our two most dangerous players, and most of the exciting things England did in the four games was due to their link-up play.

All these things were factors in England's poor world cup. But the last reason is the main one: Gerrard's position. Steven Gerrard is a central midfielder. One of the best in the world. Don't play him on the wing! Especially the left wing, he's right-footed! A waste of one of our best players, and the single player who brings the best out of Rooney. Gerrard rarely has the discipline to stay out on the left, so he drifts inside. This reduces service to the strikers, stifles the central midfielders, means we lack width, and leaves Ashley Cole exposed at the back. With the lack of service to the strikers, Rooney dropped deep to get the ball and we had very little up front. Therefore we do not attack effectively and cannot defend effectively – we were continually exposed down our left side.

Capello's decision to play Gerrard out of position was the single biggest factor in England's downfall. To do well at football, you have to score and not concede (this really isn't a difficult concept!). With Gerrard on the left, we struggled to score and conceded too easily. Simple as.

Player ratings

Green – 3. Unforgivable mistake at this level. Otherwise fine.

James – 8. Good goalkeeping. Dealt with crosses well and made some good saves. Did everything he could

Cole – 8. Our best player (as ever). Solid defensively, good going forward. Did as well as he could with no cover in front of him for a lot of the time.

Johnson – 6. Sparky going forward, ok at the back. Not good enough for a world cup winning side, but not bad either.

Terry – 4. No pace, little confidence. Generally absent. Did not dominate like he used to.

King – 5. Fine until he got injured.

Carra – 4. See Terry.

Upson – 6. Generally did well. Only mistake was in the lead up to Klose's goal, but he wasn't exactly helped by the rest of the team.

Barry – 5. Nondescript. Very little to say, either good or bad.

Gerrard – 4. Some exciting moments, but too many wasted chances and way to little positional discipline (though it's not his fault he was put out on the left).

Lampard – 4. Good against Germany (unlucky not to have 2 goals), but otherwise very poor.

Lennon – 3. Did nothing.

Milner – 6. Not his fault that he was picked while ill against USA. In the other games he did well and was our main attacking chance-provider.

Cole – 5. Didn't get much of a chance, but did ok when he came on.

SWP – 2. Did less than Lennon.

Rooney – 3. 'The first touch of an elephant seal' (Robbo's blog). True fact. Very poor indeed.

Heskey – 3. Ok against USA, but his score is always limited by the fact that he never scores. Did very little.

Defoe – 6. Good goal against Slovenia, worked hard, good link up play.

Crouch – 5. Had no chance to shine.