Banks

Why do banks close at midday on Saturdays? They're open 9-5 during the week, when everyone else is at work, but when everyone else has time to use the banks, they close early. This really annoys me.

Dorian Gray

I saw this film last night, and have two things to say.

Thing 1: the film is good. It is exciting and gripping. Not the sort of film you’d say you enjoy as such, but a good experience. Ben Barnes is very good in the lead role. Apparently it’s quite different from the book, because the book has very little plot and is basically just Oscar Wilde rambling and trying to show off how clever he is. But the plot of the film is good. For a fuller review, see James Doc's blog.

Thing 2: the film is rated 15, which is a joke. It is easily an 18. Mild horror, quite a bit of strong gore, some drug use, and a LOT of sex. Fully nude sex scenes, orgies, hetero and homosexual. Just as the Dark Knight should have been a 15 for the violence and threat, so this should be an 18 for the sexual activity. However, while I have proved that the Dark Knight should have been rated 15 by the BBFCs own guidelines, I cannot prove that Dorian Gray should be an 18. The BBFCs guidelines do indeed place Dorian Gray as a 15. This is just another example of how film classification standards have changed. Comparing this to a film like the Usual Suspects (rated 18), there is no question that Dorian Gray should have a higher rating.

The language of love

The language people use to describe romantic relationships in Britain is appalling. It needs reviewing. I have, at the moment, three problems with it.

1. ‘Going out with’. This sounds stupid. The alternatives are either too old-fashioned (walking out with, courting) or too American (dating). We need a new phrase.
2. ‘Asking out’. Similar to above. We need a new phrase.
3. ‘Fancy’ as in ‘I fancy her’. This also sounds rubbish, but there is a further problem. With the above 2 phrases, at least everyone knows what they mean. With ‘fancying’, there are at least 3 different meanings that people have:
a. Fancy = find physically attractive. On this basis I fancy loads of people, including many I’ve never met but have seen in films or bands.
b. Fancy = have a crush on. The phrase ‘have a crush on’ is also poor, but people do seem to have a consistent idea of what it means, even if they can’t put it into words. This is a bit more intimate than meaning (a) – having a crush on someone requires at least one meeting with that person, and usually involves an attraction to at least parts of their personality.
c. Fancy = want to ‘go out with’. An actually prospective boy/girlfriend. Having thought about it, you actually want a romantic relationship with this person – it’s more than just a crush.
‘Fancy’ is an awful word because it sounds stupid AND has no clear meaning. We need a new phrase.

For about three years I have been trying to come up with better ways of saying ‘going out with’, ‘asking out’ and ‘fancying’. I have failed so far. So I open it up to anyone reading this blog – please make suggestions!
Satisfactory new words or phrases may require re-defining existing words, making up new words, or stealing ideas from other languages. If something is suggested that I like, I will start using it, because I really hate the current language we use for these things. Be creative, and get suggesting!

Why Men Hate Going To Church

‘Why Men Hate Going To Church’ by David Murrow is the best and most important Christian book I have read.
As expected from the title, the book is about the gender gap in Christianity and explains why many men are disinterested in church. It looks at spirituality, psychology, biology, and clearly explains how most churches are geared at women rather than men. It explains why this is such a problem, and why it is crucial that the church is called back to men. It also suggests many things that churches, leaders, and Christians in general can do to change the situation.
I won’t attempt to describe what the book says, because I will end up just quoting it all. Every page is packed with so much truth it’s incredible. Every minute or so I found myself getting very excited about how right the book was in what it was saying. By the way, Murrow is clear that he is not suggesting a male-dominated church – he’s suggesting a balanced church, but the church at the moment is very unbalanced.
I am not exaggerating in saying that this is the one book I think all Christians should read. Seriously – what this book says could completely change Christianity and solve the problem of the gender gap. Sorting out the problem will not only balance the genders however, it will revitalise the church in every area.
Read this book! Get it from Amazon here, or ask to borrow my copy.

Oasis top ten

Joe beat me to this, but as Oasis have recently split, a top ten seems in order:

1. Slide Away
2. Stand by Me
3. Don’t look back in anger
4. Live Forever
5. Wonderwall
6. Little by little
7. I hope, I think, I know
8. Champagne Supernova
9. Magic Pie
10. Some might say

I offer no commentary on this order (I can’t be bothered at the moment, and it was also produced with minimal thought in about 4 minutes), but if you wish to comment (either in agreement and adoration or disagreement and abuse), please feel free and I will endeavour to justify my selections.

Texting

I have noticed a trend in texting patterns: teenagers use texts to have full conversations much more than people in their twenties, who use texts mainly for ‘business’ e.g. arranging meeting places, checking details, asking single questions.

I think there are two possible reasons for this.

Reason 1: Teenagers simply use texts for conversation more. It’s part of the culture of teenagers. People in their twenties didn’t experience this when they were teenagers because mobile phones were very new then. Therefore in the future we can expect those who are currently teenagers to change their texting patterns.

Reason 2: The pattern of phone usage is changing, starting with teenagers who have more time on their hands. As phones become able to do more and more things, teenagers are relying on them more and more conversation is texted rather than spoken. In the future, we can expect this trend to infiltrate people in their twenties and above.

I hope the reason for the pattern is reason 1. Reason 2 would worry me, because the best way to conduct relationships is in person, and I think that even speaking on the phone is closer to being ‘in person’ than texting (or emailing, or facebooking etc.)